no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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