Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
