You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
