she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
