i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
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