I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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