so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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