I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
These tits shall not be calmed
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
