the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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