literally had 100 drinks last night.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
