There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
