the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
