I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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