Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
