The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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