David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
