I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
