Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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