Even the bartender felt bad for me
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
