let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
