dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
