How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
