Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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