Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
