Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
that may or may not have been my penis.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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