uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
