Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
