SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Randomize
