marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
