whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
