Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
