Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
