They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
