nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
