I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
farters have to be the big spoon...
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
