I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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