I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Pants 0. Shit 1.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Randomize
