I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
