i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
