i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Randomize
