It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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