is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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