so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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