I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
