dude i'm inner monologue high
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
