Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Randomize
