I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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