He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
