how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
