Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
