I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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