how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
