Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
