We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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